For Me This Is Heaven

There is so much to be said for recognizing when you’re not as happy as you could be, and then thoughtfully guiding the wheel in a new direction to gently correct the course.

I was a late driver for several reasons: lack of funds to buy a car, lack of time to properly learn (my parents worked long hours and my school had no driver education class), but most notably, the day my mom gave me my first taste of being in the driver’s seat, we were navigating a normally quiet neighborhood that was suddenly besieged by every manner of emergency vehicle imaginable. It turns out, I had unknowingly driven right into a domestic hostage situation. The experience shook me up so badly, I felt the anxiety rise like a diaphanous, ever-present ghost whenever I got behind the wheel thereafter. It wasn’t until I was nearly 21 that I got my license (needfully; my mom firmly believed that children shouldn’t live at home past 21, and I was summarily kicked out). For the first several weeks, I drove like a frightened bird, white-knuckling the wheel with a death grip, so alert that I felt like my synapses might ignite. Then one day I picked up my best friend to go to see a film, and he saw the stricken look of anxiety on my face. “Screw the movie,” he said. He buckled his seat belt, slipped a mix I’d made him into the CD player, and said: “Let’s drive.”

That day was the first one that I ever really listened to music whilst driving, and with Sam inching the volume ever-upward and singing lustily in the seat next to me, I finally began to relax and enjoy myself. After that day, my driving was emboldened; I went for longer distances to visit friends and see interesting, heretofore unexplored sights. And I discovered that one of my favorite pastimes was just driving for long stretches of time with no particular destination: windows down, music up high, wind whipping and plaiting my hair, and my soulfully singing voice my only companion as the miles stretched ever onward.

These last several days, where SL blogging is concerned, I feel like I’ve really started to tear the map and begin plotting my new course. I’ve always said that I’m a writer first and a photographer second, and a fashion blogger/stylist … well, I feel no shame in admitting that those are a distant third. I love our virtual world’s designers and brands, they inspire me daily and I’m ever in awe of all they accomplish. But celebrating fashion to its fullest isn’t truly wear my heart lies. For those gracious and understanding designers who don’t mind, or may even appreciate, that I’ll hopefully be showing their wares in more poetically-motivated pictures going forward, I’m tremendously grateful. And for those who prefer the more classic fashion blogs and photos, I understand completely, with great respect and appreciation. But to find the route to my most genuine happiness, I’m longing to do as Robert Frost bade, and take the road less traveled by. And with any luck, that will make all the difference. ♡

Please click for full size.

“And the mindless comfort grows,
When I’m alone with my great plans
And this is what she says gets her through it:
‘If I don’t let myself be happy now, then when?
If not now, when?‘”

Look

Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
Avi-Glam Eyes – Elysian Eyes (Basil) New Release @ Cosmopolitan, through July 16th *
Opale Hair – Gisele (Red Pack) New Release @ Dreamful, through July 22nd *
Nanika Tattoo – Zara (in White for Maitreya, Belleza, Slink & Omega) New Release @ On9, through July 28th *

Style & Pose

Kunglers Jewelry – Sampaguita Earrings (Rose) New Release @ On9, through July 28th *
Ricielli Top – Lily Minitop (Desert) New Release @ Shiny Shabby, through July 15th *
Label Motion Pose – Brenda Pose 2 *

Destination & Inspiration

✈ Sights: The Bay Reborn
🎧 Sounds: Jimmy Eat World – For Me This Is Heaven