If in my last post I was fielding gentle riots inside my thoughts, this one finds me with absolute ants in my pants. Not presently, that is … the turbulence in my mind has soothed itself to a sort of truce between tranquility and unrest. But this last day or two, oh my stars. There’s a wonderful word that originated in the Italian neighborhoods in New York City and blossomed outward into my part of the state in the 1980s, which my mom picked up on and used on my brother and I with frequency. “You’re giving me agita,” she’d say when we were being particularly troublemaking or otherwise childlike. Agita comes from the Italian word acido, meaning heartburn, but New Yorkers used it to mean anxiety, agitation, or stress. And that’s what I had been feeling: a whole heapin’ helping of agita. Suffice it to say, the center could not hold for long. I either had to deal with it, or be driven crazy.
Something I’ve practiced for many years, though not as consistently as I’d like, is meditation. Having had little luck with mantras, my most blissful experience with it is lying in darkness, white noise or ambient music filling my mind, just focusing on my breathing. Inhale for 7 counts, exhale for 5 … always an unbalanced rhythm to keep my mind from wandering too far. So I spent some time meditating in the early morning hours before getting up to work on this picture, and I noticed when I was trying to make my mind settle, that everything causing me agitation kept coming back to my perceived lack of time. And this is a tricky one, because time is finite; we can’t get more of it no matter how hard we try. But we can manage how we spend it, and that’s what my thoughts were gently trying to express as they urged, eased, and compelled me into quietude.
“take the darkest hour, break it open
water to repair what we have broken
there’s something that you won’t show
waiting where the light goes
maybe anywhere the wind blows,
it’s all worth waiting for …”
Maitreya Body – Lara v3.5
Genesis Lab Head & Skin – Melissa
Damien Fate Eyelashes – FATELashes v2.0
Avi-Glam Eyes – Elysian Eyes (SummerNight) New Release @ Cosmopolitan, through July 16th *
Exile Hair – Wisteria (Fifty Linden Friday HUD)
Style & Pose
Destination & Inspiration
Toward the end of meditation, I started to feel what I can only describe as a sensuous buzz, sort of ricocheting outward from my chest in all directions at once. And even though the lights were out and a sleep mask covered my eyes, I began to feel a kind of radiance and warmth, like sitting outside by the coals of a bonfire: close enough that you can still feel the heat, and be hypnotized by the crimson and gold as it gives off its lingering glow. I felt broken open, like the charred log anchoring the blaze, its skin blistered and carbonized, cleaving open its insides at last. I didn’t feel renewed, more like succumbed– and it’s a feeling I actually cherish more. Because I think I’m finally coming to peace with the understanding that I can’t see, experience, or please everything and everyone all the time. The gamer inside me who chases the Completionist goal, who wants to turn in every quest and pick up every stone unturned, will needfully take an overdue rest. I won’t ever truly stop trying to Do All The Things; it goes against my nature. But I have to be more kind to myself when time isn’t on my side. The things that matter most, they’re like embers: they linger patiently, persistently, just waiting to be stirred once more. And those most important things, they’re all worth waiting for. ♡
Hey sweetpeas! I’m typing like mad to get this published as soon as possible, as I’ve just learned that one of my wonderful designers has two fabulous Fifty Linden Fridays deals that you won’t want to miss! I’m also showing off one of my favorite free gifts from Hair Fair 2015, which ends this Sunday, as well as my latest foot fetish (you’ll see what I mean!) that’s available at a special launch price for a short time only. All the fancy details are below! ♥
Body / Maitreya | Mesh Body – Lara v3.4
Skin / Essences | Kendra – Medium (Brunette) | Free Gift In-Store
Hair / Exile | Jill – Natural Fusion 1 HUD | Free Gift at Hair Fair 2015, through July 26th
Eyes / Inkheart | Essential Eyes – Perseverance (S)
Lashes / Mon Cheri | Falsies Mesh Eyelashes – Upper
* Eyeshadow / Nova Bodyshop | Layla Eyeshadow – 008 | N21 Event, through August 10th
Lips / Pink Fuel | Harley Lipstick – Cherry (Mouth)
Nails / alaskametro<3 | Metallic Pack – Diva Gold (Maitreya, Slink, Eve & Omega Appliers) | SL Marketplace
* Piercing / PUNCH | Antares Clip-On Septum – True Gold | Gacha Item at Oh My Gacha, through July 31st
* Jewelry / Secret Love | Geometric Necklace & Bangle (5 gem colors & 3 metals in HUD) | Group Gift
* Top / Paper Arrow | Cozy Tee – Pineapple | N21 Event, through August 10th
* Shorts / Paper Arrow | Beach Khakis – Dots with Bikini Add-On | Fifty Linden Fridays
* Feet / KC Couture | Diana Jewels (for Maitreya Mid & High, Belleza Mid & High, and Slink Mid & High)
First up: get your buns over to Paper Arrow and snag these fabulous Beach Khaki shorts in the “Dots” print, which are available as a wonderful Fifty Linden Fridays deal, today only. And while you’re there, be sure to look for the gorgeous Chevron Necklace, which is available for L$50 today as well, in the gold tone. The necklace includes versions that are specially fitted for Maitreya and Belleza mesh bodies, and I can confirm that it fits absolutely beautifully. I’ll be showing it off in an upcoming post for sure, but I wanted to be sure to give the FLF heads-up!
Speaking of Paper Arrow, my sweet and summery Cozy Tee is their offering at the current round of N21, as well as my lovely, lustrous eyeshadow by Nova Bodyshop. And I’m wearing three different, absolutely marvelous free gifts in these pics: the gorgeous Kendra skin by Essences (free in-store, no group needed); the Geometric Jewelry Set by Secret Love, which includes a matching necklace, bangle and ring (free group join required); and the wonderful Jill hairstyle by Exile, found as a free gift in their booth at Hair Fair 2015, which closes on Sunday evening. Virtually every brand at the fair has gifts on offer, so if you haven’t gone yet, this is your very last chance!
Finally, I think I’ve been beset by some form of witchcraft or voodoo, because the other day I noticed a really lovely set of foot jewels on Flickr, and found myself lamenting that they were for Slink feet only. And then as if by magic, Klari of KC Couture released her gorgeous Diana Jewels just a day or two later. Witchcraft, I tell you! But whether it’s clever mind-reading or just wonderful happenstance, I’m in love with these jewels which are available for both mid and high versions of Maitreya, Belleza and Slink feet. And of course there are oodles of color options in the HUD to play with, so you can create any summery color combination that your heart (or toes) desire!
Juuuuust as I finished typing, another mad scramble of work dropped on my shoulders, so I’m off to the real world to finish up my Friday. Have a lovely weekend everyone, snag all the wonderful deals you can, and don’t forget that several major events are ending today through Sunday. Be sure to check my SL Fashion & Shopping Events Tracker for all the details! Mwah! 💋